Where Do We Go From Here?
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A few weeks ago, I wrote a very personal post about my sudden and unexpected break-upwardly. Now that I've had some time to heal and reflect, I'yard ready to move forward with a new positive outlook and greater clarity on my future goals. And then, here's the answer to the question that nobody really asked: Where exercise nosotros go from here?
Where Do Nosotros Go from Here?
The improve question would be "Where exercise I go from hither?", because I don't actually care where he goes. Simply, "Where do we go from here" is a Buffy reference, and as we all know, that's the all-time show in the history of shows, so I'll take any excuse to reference it.
As far as the "we" goes, he is moving out at the cease of this month. He's excelling at his chore and saving coin. He credits me for helping him learn that it's ok (and even desired!) to accept coin saved upwards for an emergency, task loss, or anything else that might happen. He'southward focused on learning how to alive for himself and exist an developed on his ain. His main focuses are going to be fixing himself and being there for his daughter.
I'thou not mad at him for any of this. I'm happy that I was able to teach him some things nearly coin, and that he's working to better himself moving forward. He was definitely correct about one thing: he never would take fully taken care of himself knowing that he had me as a safety internet. And I don't want to be anybody'south safety cyberspace anymore.
Where Do I Go from Here?
Clearly, this is the most important function. What do I want to exercise moving forward for myself? It'southward not ever an easy question to respond. The day subsequently the break-upwardly, I was so confused equally to what I wanted that I fifty-fifty applied for a job back in Los Angeles. I left Los Angeles for me, before I fifty-fifty met Brian! Why would I fifty-fifty consider moving dorsum?? I really needed some self-care and evaluation.
The Healing Process
It'southward important not to brand whatever drastic decisions in the first few weeks or months post-obit a huge life irresolute upshot. You need to accept a step back, evaluate where you are and where you want to be, and take time for yourself. I've spent the past few weeks doing just that.
Reflection
1 of the nigh of import things I did during this past month was reflect on where I went incorrect. Looking back, there were lots of red flags. I didn't desire to see them considering I was so happy to be with someone who had some energy! The infatuation high was amazing -especially later on being in an emotionally abusive relationship for so long. In hindsight, I definitely shouldn't have jumped into a new human relationship so soon. We should have taken things much slower, and I should have ready healthier boundaries.
I've been doing a lot of journaling lately most how my lack of boundaries led me to where I am today, and I know that's something I need to work on for the futurity. Self-reflection isn't always the easiest thing to do, merely it's essential to the healing procedure and ensuring that you don't go along making the same mistakes.
Self-Care
Self-care later on a breakdown is also definitely a must. For me, the all-time style to do that was to be with my people. I Booked a flying to Los Angeles and I spent an amazing weekend with my best friends, my sister, and my mom. Existence with them was so easy and natural – I felt better than I had in months!
But the trip also reminded me of why I left LA in the showtime place. It'south crowded, it takes forever to get anywhere, and it's prohibitively expensive. Although I miss all of my crawly friends, I don't want to motility back. Visiting there really helped me gain that clarity.
What Practice I Want To Exercise?
Staying in Pennsylvania
So many people have asked me if I wanted to stay in Pennsylvania. At first, I wasn't sure. He was a big function of the reason that I moved here. Just, he wasn't the just reason. The incredibly low cost of living as well had a lot to do with it. Not having a mortgage payment gives me the opportunity to save tons of money and pay off my credit card debt – and those things will enable me to quit my job and live the life I desire.
To be perfectly honest though, if I didn't take all my pets I'd be gone already. I'd be applying for a teaching job someplace in Southeast Asia and I'd but take off. Simply cats don't travel well, and I could never exit them. They may hold me back, just they are my babies. It'due south also a good thing though, considering I demand at least ii more than years of working to truly be at Coast Fire, and I call up dedicating that much fourth dimension to this blog while I still accept an income coming in will requite me a real opportunity to achieve Passion Burn down.
Living the RV Life
I had to call up of a mode I could be free to live the life I want (adventure, travel, etc.) while still beingness able to take care of my darlings. Living the RV lifestyle seems similar the ideal solution. They can travel the U.s. with me, just still have the condolement of having their own territory. I likewise wouldn't have to worry near having them fly, or whatever weird regulations that other countries might have about importing animals. And when they all pass on through the rainbow span (subsequently living very long, happy, healthy lives), I will showtime pursuing the international portions of my fire goals.
Human relationship Goals
I'yard obviously non in a relationship, merely it was important to me to retrieve nearly what I really want out of a human relationship, before getting into a new one. I really do want a partner to pursue all these fire goals with. Although I'm comfy working towards it on my own, I value companionship and its something that I want to eventually find.
I desire to be smarter about information technology though. Hopping into a relationship with simply anyone isn't going to work. Brian was always very supportive of me doing my blogging thing, simply there was ever the underlying feeling that he never really believed that I could achieve those goals. He idea it was merely a pipage dream. I want to be with someone who not simply truly believes in living the FI kinda life, but who actively wants to pursue information technology with me. I'm sure information technology won't be like shooting fish in a barrel to notice someone like that, just I've realized that I'd rather go at it lonely than elevate someone boot and screaming. That's growth, right?
Thank You lot
I as well want to thank all my friends and family unit, both the real-life ones and the online ones, for all of the kind words, support, advice, and love that you take shown me during this transition. The PF community on Twitter has been zero but amazingly supportive, and I'm then thankful to be a part of it (and to meet a bunch of you at FinCon!).
Source: https://partnersinfire.com/lifestyle/where-do-we-go-from-here/
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